


of all i want to hear you say to me

by nsofties



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Lee Jeno is Whipped, M/M, Mentioned Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, donghyuck is sick and tired of jeno's shenanigans, donghyuck moves into the neighborhood and into jeno's heart, jeno is in denial, jeno is stupid and very sure of himself but also stupid, jeno is whipped for donghyuck even if he doesn't know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 05:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17156471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nsofties/pseuds/nsofties
Summary: Donghyuck has always been there, even when he wasn’t. He filled the spaces of Jeno’s monochrome world with sunshine yellow. Jeno never wants to go back.“No, mom. Honestly. I think he’s my soulmate.”“That’s nice, honey. Eat your vegetables.”





	of all i want to hear you say to me

Jeno and Donghyuck were young when they first met - not that young, but not old enough that Jeno remembers exactly when. All Jeno knows is that Donghyuck wasn’t always there - and then, suddenly, he was. Ever since then, Donghyuck has never  _ not _ been with Jeno. Granted, Jaemin has always been there, too, but, something about Donghyuck, to Jeno, has always been different. He can’t put his finger on why or how it’s different, but Donghyuck just  _ is _ .

Donghyuck will tell you that he moved to the neighborhood when he was twelve years old, rudely uprooted from his childhood home and bestfriend, Mark Lee. Donghyuck was twelve when he knocked on Jeno’s door, a fresh batch of cookies in his hands. Jeno had answered the door, eyes bright. He remembers the first words he said to him: “Hey, uh, these - my mom made you guys cookies. I, uh, guess.” Jeno had simply smiled and let him in.

“My mom says you can just leave them on the counter.” Jeno rounded the corner to see Donghyuck standing rigidly in the middle, looking a bit out of place in the monochromatic kitchen. Jeno thinks  _ that _ was the moment where the universe decided that they needed to be together. Donghyuck wasn’t a  _ bad _ out of place - he was the kind of out of place that’s like a breath of fresh air. His sun-kissed skin, sharp gaze, and bright yellow T-shirt was a welcome change to Jeno’s black and white world. 

Donghyuck had placed the platter of cookies on the counter before grinning. “... Well? What do you do for fun here?”

“Oh. Well. I… I don’t know. I usually go over my friend Jaemin’s house.” Jeno was hesitant - if he’s being honest, he still  _ is _ hesitant around Donghyuck - as he spoke, pulling out a kitchen chair and leaning his head on his cheek. He paused before blinking. “Oh. Uh, I’m Jeno Lee, by the way.”

“Oh? I’m Donghyuck Lee. We kind of match.” Donghyuck had smiled and for a moment, Jeno saw color in a different sort of light. Donghyuck crossed his arms as he leaned against the counter, smile still on his face. Jeno, through the years, would never get tired of Donghyuck’s smile - the smile that still appears, even when he tells his worst jokes.

“Well, Donghyuck Lee. I hope we end up being good friends.”

“I have a feeling we’re going to be the best of friends, Jeno. Just you wait.”

Jeno thinks that Donghyuck was  _ very _ ,  _ very _ right about them becoming the best of friends. He would  _ never _ tell Jaemin, but he thinks that his friendship with Donghyuck might even be stronger than his with his childhood friend. Like Jeno says - the doesn’t really remember  _ when _ Donghyuck arrived, but it doesn’t really matter when Donghyuck is next to him anyways. And Jeno is convinced - he even told his mother over dinner one day - he is  _ convinced _ that Donghyuck is his soulmate in some way. His mother had patted him on the head, told him that he was  _ cute _ and she was glad that she and Donghyuck had one another. Jeno is glad that they have one another, too.

“- to Jeno. Earth to Jeno,” says Donghyuck, rolling his eyes as he waves a hand in front of his face. “Did you even hear a word I said?” Jeno feels his face heat up as he nods no. His friend groans from his seat across from him at the lunch table, but it isn’t malicious and he smiles with a gentle shake of his head. “Mark is transferring here next semester.”

Jeno falters for a second, looking at Donghyuck in confusion. “Mark… Isn’t he -”

“Yeah. It’s the middle of the year  _ and _ it’s his junior year. But, it’s like fate, don’t you think? Mark and I reuniting after so many years!”

“So we  _ finally _ get to meet Mark? I was beginning to think that he was fake,” teases Jaemin. He leans his head on his hand as he smiles at Donghyuck. It’s just been  _ accepted _ that everyone has a soft spot for Donghyuck, Jaemin no exception. “Next semester is only a few weeks away.”

“I  _ know _ ! I’ve been so excited for his transfer, but he wasn’t sure until recently. You guys are gonna love Mark - I swear. There’s a reason that he’s been my best friend  _ basically _ since I was born.” Donghyuck is waving his sandwich around as he speaks and Renjun wrinkles his nose in distaste as a piece of lettuce goes flying to the ground.

“Hyuck. Your sandwich.” Renjun gently grabs his wrist and pulls it back down to the table.

“Oh,  _ shit _ , sorry Jun.” Donghyuck bears his teeth in a sheepish grin before he lets go of his sandwich, instead choosing to wave around empty hands. “ _ Anyways, _ as I was saying! Mark is actually moving into his new house next week. He said I could let you guys know when he’s settled in so we can all go over and visit! He’s moving into the Oh’s old house, Jen!”

“Close, then,” says Jeno with a smile.

“Super close! Mark said he’d even drive us to school from now on!”

“Do you think you could convince him to swing by my house and pick me up, too? I’d love to have some extra time in the morning.” Jaemin is dramatic as he speaks, swinging his arms down onto the table as he presses his cheek against the flat top.

Donghyuck laughs while he shrugs, instead choosing to take a bite of his sandwich. “I can drive you, Jaem. Don’t make Mark drive all the way to the other side of town just to drive you.” Jaemin looks at Renjun with a degree of scepticism that earns him a smack on the back of his head. “I’m a good driver!”

“... What do I mention first? When you ran over the same curb seven times in a row or that time you -”

“Okay!” shouts Renjun with a laugh. “I get it, I get it. But, seriously. I’ll drive us. And it’ll be fine. And Mark will drive them.”

Jaemin sighs and the two continue to bicker about Renjun’s driving, Donghyuck watching in amusement. Jeno, on the other hand, stares at Donghyuck, almost without blinking. It won’t be the first time he’s spoken to Mark, but he’s also never spent much time other than a few hours with him. And he worries. He worries if - and how - Mark will change the nice thing the four of them have. He especially wonders how it’ll change him and Donghyuck.

A hand waving in front of his eyes catches his attention, again.

“Hey. Earth to Jeno. Lunch is almost over.”

“Oh.  _ Oh _ ! My sandwich!”

“Eat quick!”

* * *

Jeno was fourteen when he told his mom. “No, mom. Honestly. I think he’s my soulmate.” In what  _ way _ Jeno wasn’t sure, but he knew - though, honestly, he knew from the moment he opened the door for Donghyuck - that his best friend was also his soulmate. Jeno looked expectantly at his mother who was focused on placing the roast on the table. He petulantly stabbed the carrots on his plate as he jutted his bottom lip out, quickly realizing she wasn’t listening to him.

“That’s nice, honey. Eat your vegetables.”

He never brought it up again to his mom, but sometimes he wishes he had. The only other person Jeno  _ ever _ told was their older neighbor, Doyoung. The older boy had patted him on the shoulder with a look that was a mix of pity and guilt, before sitting Jeno down. Jeno, in all honesty, doesn’t really remember what Doyoung had said to him. Jeno does, however, remember exactly what Mark had said to him the first time they met.

“Oh! You’re the Jeno that Hyuckie talks about all the time! Only good things, I assure you. I’m Mark Lee - Hyuckie’s childhood best friend.”

Several things went through Jeno’s mind as a result: 1) is there more than one Jeno? Why is he  _ the _ Jeno?; 2) Donghyuck  _ talks _ about him when he’s not around and they’re good things; 3)  _ Hyuckie _ . Mark calls Donghyuck  _ Hyuckie _ and Jeno still stutters when he tries to call him Hyuck. Hell, it took Jeno the longest time to even refer to Donghyuck as his best friend and Mark is out there calling himself Donghyuck’s  _ childhood best friend _ ? Jeno paused for a moment before he backtracked from every single thought and restarted.

_ Donghyuck talks about me _ , was his first thought.  _ That’s nice. Maybe they know another Jeno from their old town. And of course he calls Donghyuck  _ Hyuckie _ , they’ve been close since they were in diapers! _ Jeno, satisfied by his reorganized thoughts, smiled easily at Mark, and the two had a pleasant, though forgettable conversation until Donghyuck returned to his room with lunch.

Jeno is the first to arrive at Mark’s house, standing awkwardly at the door, bundled up in his winter jacket, until the door swings open. Donghyuck ushers him in like it’s his own house, Mark’s laugher filling the empty space. He turns around on the couch and grins brightly as he sets his gaze on Jeno.

“Hey! Been a while, huh? It’s nice to see another friendly face here!”

His voice catches in his throat as the doorbell rings and Donghyuck sprints out of the room, leaving Jeno and Mark on their own. It’s not for a long moment, but it’s long enough that Jeno  _ feels _ awkward. In fact, Jeno can’t even say anything until Jaemin and Renjun slide into the room, the former throwing his arm around Jeno’s shoulders. Jaemin’s appearance is grounding, as it always has been for him, and he feels himself relaxing as he is pulled onto the couch between Jaemin and Renjun.

“Sorry about him. It’s still early in the day for him. Jen usually doesn’t wake up until like  _ two in the afternoon _ . Can you believe that?”

“ _ Nana _ ,” warns Jeno, narrowing his eyes.

“ _ Relax _ ! He’d figure it out eventually. It’s why Injun and I don’t make plans with Jen before noon.” As Jaemin speaks, he keeps his arm thrown around Jeno’s shoulders, his free hand waving around. “But, right! I’m Jaemin Na! Jeno Lee’s childhood friend and platonic soulmate.”

“More like  _ demon _ ,” mutters Jeno under his breath. This earns him a pinch from his friend, who grins.

“I’m Renjun Huang. I moved here in elementary school.”

“But, he’s inseparable from us! It’s us, the Three Musketeers! We -”

“Do  _ not _ . Last time you said something like that, we all ended up in detention for a  _ month _ , Jaemin. As  _ elementary school students. _ ” Renjun waves a small fist and Jeno laughs, swatting at it. “Don’t encourage him!”

“Sorry about them,” stage whispers Jeno. Mark stares at him, enraptured by his smile. “They’re a little crazy, but they’re good friends. I promise.”

“It’s fine,” says Mark. He shakes his head, as if breaking out of a trance. “Hyuckie used to get in trouble all the time. I get it.”

“We were just  _ innocent bystanders _ !” Renjun shakes his head wearily. “I  _ told _ Jaem that it was a bad idea.”

“Nana doesn’t listen to us much.”

“I do, too! Nono, how could you.”

“No.”

“ _ Nono _ .” Jaemin’s whining voice is high-pitched and he bats his eyelashes. Jeno, in response, shoves him away with a laugh.

“ _ Anyways _ , we’re glad you’re here, Mark. Welcome to our chaos!” shouts Renjun, throwing his arms in the air.

Jeno laughs, until he realizes that Donghyuck hadn’t said  _ anything _ . He spins in his seat before he sees Donghyuck, who stands in the doorway, looking at all of them fondly. Eventually, he notices Jeno’s stare and jumps over the back of the couch, squeezing himself between Jaemin and Jeno, throwing his arms around their shoulders. “ _ Okay _ . Now that we’re all  _ best friends _ , let’s  _ do something _ .”

“Yeah!”

“Nana,  _ no _ .”

“ _ Hyuckie, no _ .”

* * *

Jeno was fifteen when he thought that the best way to avoid whatever weird feeling he got from seeing Donghyuck and Mark together was  _ avoiding Donghyuck _ . Jaemin, bless him, had simply gone along with Jeno’s plan, understanding his best friend well enough to know that there was no talking him out of it. And Jeno, to his credit, was excellent at avoiding people when he tried. Jaemin always brings up the time that Jeno rejected someone and avoided them for two whole years in middle school. Donghyuck had been impressed and Renjun shook his head.

“You’re  _ stupid _ ,” groaned Jaemin, watching as Jeno sprinted to Renjun’s car, throwing himself onto the ground in the backseat. “I can’t believe we’re  _ best friends _ . I can’t believe I had a fucking  _ crush _ on you in middle school. You weirdo.”

Jeno popped up as Jaemin and Renjun finally got into the car, glaring at both of them from the floor. “I’m not  _ weird _ .”

“Please. Just sit in the seat  _ normally _ and buckle in so I can leave. I can’t believe I came all the way back to school to pick you two  _ idiots _ up from basketball practice.”

“You  _ love us _ , Injun. Don’t pretend.” Jeno wrinkled his nose, sniffing a few times from the car floor. Jaemin sat in the passenger seat, yelling about how the driving test was rigged and he drove  _ perfectly _ , it’s not  _ his fault _ that some idiot decided to cut him off. All Renjun could do is sigh, waiting for Jeno to buckle in before starting the car.

“It’s been like. A  _ year _ , Jen. A whole fucking  _ year _ . Don’t you think it’s time you stop avoiding Hyuck?” asked Jaemin, looking at his best friend through the rearview mirror. Jeno pointedly avoided his gaze, instead choosing to focus on his backpack in his lap. The drive wasn’t long and, before they knew it, Renjun was pulling into his driveway.

“Well, I don’t think he’s going to be able to this time.” Renjun put the car in park and spun around to face Jeno, pursing his lips. “Get out of the car.”

“U-uh! I! Just remembered that I’m supposed to go to Nana’s for dinner!”

“Get. Out. Of. The. Car. Jeno.” Renjun enunciated each word, jabbing his finger in Jeno’s direction as he spoke. Jeno shriveled under his gaze, slowly unbuckling before sliding out of the backseat. He avoided looking at the teen standing on his front porch as he watched Renjun back out, Jaemin giving him a thumbs up. Jeno, in response, flipped him the bird.

Donghyuck, for what it’s worth, didn’t look particularly put out as he stood there, staring at Jeno who was surprised this hadn’t happened sooner. Grinning sheepishly, he pulled his keys out of his bag, unlocking the front door. Without saying a word, Donghyuck followed him inside, closing the door behind him. When Jeno looked back, he didn’t look up - instead, he looked down, at Donghyuck’s shoes next to his. A pair of old sneakers next to a pair of pristine yellow Vans. Jeno thought - and still thinks - it’s very  _ them _ . 

“So, Jeno Lee. Are you gonna talk first or is it gonna be me, as always?” Jeno threw his backpack on the couch and said nothing, still unable to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. He doesn’t have to look at his friend to know that his hands are on his hips and he has his  _ I’m really disappointed in you, you should know better _ expression. “Right. I figured. Well, want to let me know  _ why _ I haven’t seen my next door neighbor anywhere other than class for a  _ year _ now? Oh, and can I add that this next door neighbor of mine is my  _ best friend _ ?”

Jeno mumbled something under his breath - and he can’t even remember what bullshit excuse he came up with for Donghyuck, though the latter remembers quite vividly from the way he stiffened when Jaemin asked, before waving a hand and saying  _ It’s in the past _ . (It’s very much so not in the past, and Mark will tell Jeno that Donghyuck still can’t believe him. Jeno understands.)

“What was that?”

“I don’t  _ know _ .”

“Then maybe you should stop ignoring me, Jeno. It kinda sucks when your best friend suddenly stops ignoring you and avoiding you like the  _ plague _ . I miss the Jeno who used to wait twenty minutes for me in the morning while I got ready to leave and talked to my dad about the weather.” Donghyuck, while talking, had hung his coat up in the hall closet on the hanger that Jeno’s mom had gotten  _ specifically  _ for him - decorated with a swirling sun. It matched the bright yellow T-shirt Donghyuck wore that day.

That day, Jeno’s  _ genius _ plan to ignore Donghyuck which, to everyone’s surprise, lasted a  _ whole year _ , came to an end as Donghyuck plopped himself down on Jeno’s couch and turned on the TV. He patted the space beside him and, like they were never apart, Jeno settled into the seat, head leaning on his shoulder.

“Jeno Lee! You’re all sweaty! Go shower. I’ll still be here when you get back.”

“You promise?”

Donghyuck had rolled his eyes in response, nodding his head. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

Jeno was fifteen, in the local diner with Jaemin and Renjun, when he realized that Donghyuck is his soulmate in every sense of the word and that Donghyuck owns his heart. Not knowing what to do, Jeno shut down. Jaemin and Renjun watched as his brain slowly and then suddenly came to a halt. Jaemin swears that he stopped breathing altogether. Renjun took the moment to steal from fries from his plate.

“Jen? You good?” 

“Oh my God. Donghyuck is my soulmate.”

“We  _ know _ .”

* * *

Jeno is sixteen when he receives  _ The Messages _ . It sounds silly, when he thinks about it, but they changed  _ his _ world, that was already upside down or rightside up depending on the day. Jeno had decided that he was  _ happy _ as Donghyuck’s friend. Doyoung, bless him, had rolled his eyes when Jeno had told him about his decision, a heavy sigh echoing in the silence that followed. Jeno didn’t understand  _ why _ Doyoung had responded that way, but he figured that it was him commiserating in Jeno’s heartbreak.

“Alright, Jen,” Doyoung had said, tilting his head. “If that’s what you think is best.”

“I don’t  _ think _ . I  _ know _ .”

Everyone had told Jeno he was being stupid. Even  _ Mark _ told him that he was being stupid, and Jeno doesn’t even know how he found out. He’s sure that Jaemin probably told him, and Jeno didn’t have it in his heart to be angry. If anything, he was confused by Mark’s exasperated sigh as he slumped in the booth of the diner across from him. Mark blinked a few times, before he pursed his lips.

“Jeno.”

“Mark.”

“... What do you think Donghyuck is to me?”

“Your boyfriend, of course. Why?”

Jeno’s answer was followed by a choking sound from Mark as he tried, in vain, to swallow a fry. They don’t talk about the subject any further as Jeno tries to get his older friend to drink some water instead of continuing to eat fries while coughing. Jeno realizes, in the present, that he was silly and should have realized that Mark’s response was  _ not _ that of a boyfriend.

Conveniently - almost  _ too  _ conveniently, Jeno realizes - he receives  _ The Messages _ the next day.

 

**Donghyuck**

jeno.

1\. ive been trying to get you to call me duckie for years now please just call me something cute instead of donghyuck

2\. stop avoiding me and then clinging to me please just cling to me i miss u :(

3.can we go on a date this saturday the aquarium is doing a penguin feeding and trick hour and i know u wanna go with me :(

 

**Me**

i

 

**Donghyuck**

you cant say no to anything pick me up at 11 on sat! 

 

**Me**

i can’t believe i’m in love with you

wait 

FUCK

ignore that

 

**Donghyuck**

i love you too jeno lee

even if youre a little dense sometimes

 

At sixteen, there’s a lot that worries Jeno. One of them is Donghyuck Lee, who smiles as he reminds him that four years is plenty of time for change, but also plenty of time to form routines. The very same Donghyuck Lee whose closet is still mostly yellow T-shirts that make Jeno’s world full of black and white and sunshine and whose fierce loyalty will get him in trouble even when Jeno is there to stop him. The very same Donghyuck Lee who suddenly spun around at homecoming and asked Jeno if he wanted to dance, as if it was second nature - something expected - and who raced into first period with seconds to spare, autumnal foliage plastered to his sweaty forehead, his expression a practiced blank canvas. At sixteen, Jeno finally lets himself fall in love with Donghyuck Lee, even though he’s pretty sure he’s been in love with him since the moment he opened his front door to the sunshine boy with freshly baked cookies. Donghyuck assures him that four years is plenty of time for that to happen. Jeno hopes that they never fall out.

* * *

(“... So. Is this like. A  _ date _ date?”

“Jeno.”

“I…  _ listen _ -”

“Yes. This is a date. I am your  _ boyfriend _ , and you are  _ mine _ . We are on a real-life  _ date _ .”

“... Okay. A real date.  _ Wait _ , I didn’t open the door for you -”

“I love you, Jeno. But, you can be a little dense sometimes.”

“So I’ve heard.”)

**Author's Note:**

> title based on birdy’s all you never say!  
> not proof-read or edited and i just kind of want to post it… if i find any glaring typos when reading it over in the future i’ll change them >,<  
> i love jeno and i love hyuckie ;^; i tend to write these notes before i even finish the piece, so my notes may not pertain anymore - but, i’m writing this because i love jeno and i love hyuckie and i think confusing feelings and not really understanding what they’re feeling - or in jeno’s case, at least - is a part of growing up, and especially a part of feelings changing.  
> i’m sorry my writing is choppy and this is short! i just wanted it to be little snapshots of jeno figuring things out! it’s not something that i want to drag out, i don’t think.  
> hehe anyways! merry christmas (if you celebrate) everyone - i hope u enjoyed ;^; i love nohyuck i’m sorry i didn’t incorporate christmas more into this, but i feel like everything i’ve written so far is christmas themed, so i just wanted to change it up a little bit!


End file.
